Descriptive- Mrs. Lee sat in front of the sewing machine; she concentrated on the task on hand. The rooms was dusty and on the floor where pieces of fabric. She loved her job and she enjoys making clothes no matter how intricate or how simple she will always get the job done on time.
Direct Quote- “It was as good as a business could get” Mrs. Lee said she has been in the sewing business for almost thirty years. She enjoyed her years of being a designer and seamstress; she loved meeting new people and learning the new experiences that her business gave her.
Contrast and Compare- Mrs. Lee never thought she would be a designer and a seamstress. She always thought she would forever be a housewife, until she moved to Honduras with her family.
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13 years ago
I think if you make the last lead a little more dramatic, such as "until she moved to Honduras and her life was forever changed" or something like that, it would make it a lot better because it raises more questions. So yeah, the last one is the best.
ReplyDeleteI like the last one. I like the twist at the end about her moving to Honduras. The other ones were kind of confusing with a few grammar errors, but overall this looks like it could be cool. Go wit hthe 3rd one.
ReplyDeleteKathy H.
I like the first one and the last one. I think that if you could combine those two and fix up the grammar, it'd make a really good lead.
ReplyDeleteI like the last one the best. Maybe in addition to talking about Honduras you could talk a little bit more about her personality and who she is. Get the readers intreseted in Mrs. Lee
ReplyDelete